A Foreign Affair’s First China Singles Tour

Traditional Women

www.loveme.com

Pulling-up the page, he finds a Russian bride introduction agency, full of hotties. Some quick calculations and he figures it's cheaper for them to take a trip to St. Petersburg Russia and make a deal with a Russian bride, than hire a maid. His well constructed plan starts falling apart when romance begins creeping into the plot. The movie is really cute, so anyone curious about introduction agencies will like it. Just for laughs, I try the website and the same page pops up. Wow, the movie is using a real agency! It turns out that the writer and producer went on an actual AFA tour, and many of the events depicted are things that happened to them. Also the movie was filmed during another tour, using some of the tour clients instead of actors. I had the distinct impression that this movie had the look and feel of an actual tour with 'A Foreign Affair'. This was really intriguing, but it's hard enough to have a serious relationship with someone in your own town and culture and who speaks the same language, so I didn't give it serious consideration.

Two Years Later

I'm way overdue for a good vacation and I want to visit a couple of friends in Eastern Europe. I've only been to Western Europe, and I'm really looking forward to seeing the culture in the Baltic States. Since I'll be so close to Russia, maybe I should check out what AFA is doing. There's a tour to Kharkov, Ukraine. After many unsuccessful days trying to find reasonable air fares and hotels, I start thinking this vacation is getting too complicated. When traveling I enjoy the sights, but the best part is meeting the people and experiencing the way of life. An AFA tour would let me meet the locals and simplify my plans, but I'm concerned that the women at the socials wouldn't appreciate a guy who's just there to make friends. I talk to AFA about this and they say, even when someone is serous about finding a wife, they won't know if it will happen until they meet that special person. So in other words, it isn't a problem. Am I really doing this?! Okay, but the rule is no romance. The last thing I need is a relationship with someone on the other side of the earth.

Jets and More Jets

I think I've been traveling for forty something hours. My brain is a little fuzzy, so I'm not sure. As we taxi to the Kharkov terminal, I think if the plane had propellers, it would feel just like a Casablanca movie (except everything is green). This also makes me wonder if Customs has an interrogation room. Inside, everyone is scurrying for Customs forms. The line moves slowly, but when it's finally my turn, the guard is very nice and helpful. Ukraine no longer requires visas for US citizens, as part of their push to promote tourism. About a dozen of us get on the bus with our tour guide Michael, who has been our escort since JFK Airport. We also meet Jane, our local tour guide.

The ride to the hotel is my first glimpse of Kharkov. The buildings are just what you'd expect from the Soviet era, and the traffic is fairly heavy. The guys have been getting acquainted along the way. I'm surprised to find most are repeaters. These tours must be good. We have a couple of hours at the hotel to unpack and then head to the orientation. Additional men join our group in the hotel's cafe, some from other parts of the world and some making their own customized tours. The interpreters start trickling in, and I have to say, you'll find yourself falling in love with at least one interpreter in each city. This is a good time to find an interpreter you like and reserve her time for assisting with dates, shopping or just running around town. Everything is in Russian, and if you don't know the Cyrillic alphabet, you can't even attempt to sound out the words.

What, no Gruel?

After orientation we grab a couple of interpreters and head out for something to eat. For some reason, I thought the food would be dishes like 'potato and sheep brains stew' and 'deep fried pig toenails'. In fact, I packed bags of organic snacks, so I wouldn't starve. But everything was excellent; fish, chicken, beef, vegetables, salads. I believe all the food in the Ukraine is organic and everything is prepared fresh - no preservatives or fillers. I have a very restrictive diet and all of the food agreed with me. Also, I was warned not to drink the tap water and at my first meal, as I was taking my second bite of salad, I suddenly realized that it was washed in 'the tap water'. I thought it would cause me problems, but I felt fine the entire trip.

It's Friday night, and finding enough seating for our large group is a bit challenging, but we eventually locate a nice restaurant. Don't expect fast food service like in the U.S. I think much of the menu is prepared from scratch. Enjoying a leisurely meal seems part of the culture, allowing time to socialize and relax. Of course, we 'pick up' the meals for our interpreters and cover the taxis back. Something you should be aware of is that the women in the Ukraine typically make about $45 a week, and even a $5 taxi ride is a big chunk of change. Meals and entertainment are reasonably priced for us, but extremely expensive for the local wages. Men should always pay for everything, including any taxi rides your date required to meet you.

Stilettos Everywhere

The next morning we head out on our walking tour, marching across broken sidewalks, dirt, mud, weeds and cobblestone. I was surprised how poorly things were maintained, but even more surprised by the women in stiletto heals trekking through all this without a second thought. In fact, most women are in stilettos and dressed with eye-catching style. Jeans are common on the men, but rarely seen on the feminine parade. These ladies appear to embrace being sexy, whereas back home there seems to be some guilt about it.

Before the trip I had read that street signs were all in Russian, so I studied the phonetics for the Cyrillic alphabet. As we walk along, I could sound out the signs for the streets and the stores. Some of the words have English equivalents or are actually English words transferred to Russian spelling. Most of the shops are small, giving them a homey feel, and there are a surprising number of cell phone stores. The party starts at 2 p.m. today, so time to head back.

The Best Wingman is a Woman

I'm still totally exhausted and my brain is in a fog from the travel, but I definitely don't want to miss this first big event. The social is in the hotel's club and I squeeze past a line of pretty ladies signing-in, as I make my way up the stairs. I don't want to mislead you into thinking every woman looked like a model, but compared to 'fat city' back home, this really was Nirvana. I feel pretty intimidated, until one of the interpreters and a pretty guest joins me. The translator introduces me and gets the lady's basic stats, like children etc., and asks if I'm interested. I tell her, "I'm really not ready for an instant family", so she suggests moving on. The basic idea at the socials is to move from one table to the next, getting phone numbers from anyone interesting, with the purpose of making dates later.

The interpreter encourages me to explore more tables and leads the way. These lovely interpreters actually do much more than translate. They make the attending ladies feel more comfortable and help the men read between the lines. I learned a long time ago, bringing a pretty dance partner makes it much easier to meet the ladies. The best Wingman really is a woman.

Since I'm only here to make new friends, I'm trying to avoid monopolizing too much time from the guests and interpreters. I know many of the men are seriously looking for brides, and I don't want to slow things down. But I still talk to a few ladies, some of which really are models. I find a woman who can dance Salsa, so I grab her and head to the floor. We get a lot of notice, and I have the feeling not many men in the Ukraine can dance. Leaving the dance floor, a woman who looks like Cameron Diaz tells me that I dance like a professional. Actually her friend is translating. She explains that she runs a dance studio, so she can recognize a dancer. I thought that was sweet.

The party is coming to a close and I'm doing more loitering than mingling. Michael, our fearless leader, is always trying to make sure everyone is happy and points out two women I should visit. He tells me "One is a Doctor and the other is just plain gorgeous". I talk with them a bit, but the two women on the other side of me are much friendlier. One is late 20s with a nine year old, and the other is about forty with a 20 year old in college. They can't speak much English, so I break-out my ER800 electronic translator. It translates complete sentences in either direction. They are very intrigued with this technological marvel. The lights come up and they suggest getting coffee downstairs. Since I've neglected to get a single phone number, that works for me. (I could have asked Cameron Diaz out - What was I thinking?!)

Austin Powers at the Next Table

We grab a table in the club downstairs and order some snacks and coffee. My electronic translator has really come in handy. I keep thinking that it will become too tedious and they'll get bored, but they're having a good time.

At the next table another AFA tour client sits with a black haired beauty and a gorgeous blonde, both early thirties. And they are both leaning over the table, completely enthralled with him. Keep in mind that this fellow is just an average looking guy, 40s, and the nicest most sincere person you could ever meet. Maybe nice guys don't finish last here. Another tour gent notices the extra woman and joins them. Both women remain enraptured and completely ignore this other gentleman, so he leaves. This may be the nicest guy in the world, but I'm beginning to think he stole Austin Powers' vial of "Mojo". How does he do that!?

At my table we continue using my electronic translator. I can tell by the lady's expressions that the translations aren't always accurate. Communication is tedious and I'm certain they'll leave any moment, but they're really enjoying the evening. The bouncer comes over and tells us, "It's 20 Grivnas ($4) cover each to stay". The girls want to hang-out, so we stay put and the bar transitions into a night club. The music changes and four beautiful women in little outfits come out and perform a very professional dance number. The music changes again, and you'll just have to go to the Ukraine to find out about the rest of the show. J We move to a couch and enjoy the performance. After about four hours, the battery goes dead on my translator and the date comes to an end. Actually I'm so sleep deprived, this gives me a good excuse to make my exit. We exchange numbers and I go to my room and collapse.

The Morning After

In the morning the guys are filtering into the cafe for breakfast, and I start getting the scoop on the happenings from last night. One of them explains how he was lectured by a Ukrainian woman about being more aggressive. "You must take control and be strong", she said. So that's what I've been doing wrong my whole life. Actually later in the tour, I asked a couple ladies about this and they didn't care for aggressive men. So, it really depends on the woman. 'Austin Powers' came down and I had to find out what was going on at his table. He had actually found his dream girl, the black haired beauty, and her blonde girlfriend was translating. He was thinking about remaining in Kharkov, but some of the other guys recommend continuing the tour, so he'd have more options if this one didn't work out. I had an appointment, so I was a bit rushed. I'd have to get the rest of the stories later.

The previous day one of the interpreters, Natalie, invited me to meet her English students. This was the perfect opportunity to meet the locals, so I said my goodbyes and rush off. She is waiting for me at a taxi out front. I really wanted to sleep-in, but this is my only event for the day. Across town the taxi pulls up to a multistory concrete building, typical of the Soviet era. It was obvious the grounds hadn't been maintained for a very long time, as the taxi driver nimbly avoids the huge potholes. One of the students is waiting out front and we take the elevator up. Inside, the flat is very nice, with solid wood floors throughout. I find out quickly that you take off your shoes before entering, and she introduces me to her five students. Natalie uses the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding" to demonstrate and break down the dialog. They also want to talk to a native English speaker, but I think I'm speaking too fast for most to comprehend. The time passes quickly and everyone rushes off before I can get a picture. Natalie has an appointment to interpret for one of the guys, so we have to rush off too. The elevator door opens, but this time it's the larger freight elevator. Natalie says, "Not this one - We could get stuck for an hour". So we head down the stairs and I notice we're on the 15th floor. No wonder these women are in such good shape.

Entering my hotel, I pass one of the guys and his date. He is about 6' tall and his date is a blonde, about 6' 4". I have a thing for tall women and normally fantasies would be flashing through my head, but right now all I want is a nap.

Poltava

It's Monday morning, and we're on the bus to Poltava. The jet-lag is finally wearing off and I feel fully cognizant for the first time. My 'Mojo' buddy decided to continue the tour after all. The scenery is green and lush, and little towns dot the countryside. We enter Poltava and it's the opposite of Kharkov, with well maintained roads and grounds, and beautiful architecture. This is also a campus town, and I wonder if many coeds will be attending the social. The hotel is much smaller and much nicer, complete with replica antique furniture. Our group is too large for one hotel, so we meet up with the rest of the gang and go for a walking tour and lunch. The guide is a local interpreter, and gorgeous. I test the water a little, but no interest. Just as well - Gotta remember my rule.

I'm really enjoying lunch with my new group of friends. In fact, I'm really enjoying all my restaurant experiences, and it's more than just the good quality food. I can't quite put my finger on it. They aren't smoke free, so that isn't it. People are dressed nice, instead of looking like they just came in from doing the gardening. An improvement, but that isn't it either. And then I realize what it is - There are no screaming babies or out of control toddlers running amuck. Nice restaurants are for adults here. Ukrainians are very polite and are actually concerned about not disturbing others, inappropriately. What a concept!

I Didn't Know They Made Women Like This Any More

Tonight's social is at nightclub downtown. I make my way past another line of beautiful women. Inside there's lots of booths, a dance floor and a stage. A continuous stream of female guests register and find seats. I'm chatting with one of the interpreters, until she decides I should get busy and leads me into the action. We sit down with a guest and chat a little bit, but I don't believe there's much interest. I tell her, "I don't want to take this seat for too long, so other guys can have a chance to visit with you", and I head for a safe corner to observe. The room is pretty full now and the organizers get on stage for introductions. It's all in Russian, so I have no idea what's being said, but this gives me some time to check out the room. It appears a lot of cute college girls are at this party.

The coffee and sodas have filtered through, and I head for the toilet (Conveniently, the word 'toilet' is understood in every European language). I step around the corner and I'm surrounded by women. Obviously I made a wrong turn and I start to back out. An older lady waves me in and points to a door. I feel like all eyes are on me as I stammer through the central room, with wash basins and doors on each side, and through the designated door to find a squatter. I'd seen one of these years ago in Italy. It's basically a porcelain hole in the ground. Maybe this is why most of the women are wearing dresses, but I digress. I close the door and there's no lock - I'm not sure the hasp is even working. Well, I doubt if the women have ever molested any of the guys, but I can always hope. I come out and wash my hands in the sinks with other ladies. Nobody else seems to feel awkward, so I try to be as nonchalant as I can.

Trekking back into the club, a PYT smiles at me (Pretty Young Thing, for those of you too young to remember Michael Jackson). This is a little unusual, because most of the women have been very reserved with their smiles. I take a seat at her table. The smile comes from one of the college age blondes across from me, and I'm sitting next to a lovely dark haired woman. The friendly girl can't speak much English, but her friend helps with translation. The lady next to me also speaks English - In fact she speaks fluently. As the conversation continues, I'm speaking more and more with the raven-haired beauty next to me. I find out a little about her family, that she's working on her doctorate and that she's 23 years old. I also discover she has a warmth and a smile that could light-up a room. I didn't think they made women like this any more. I ask if it bothers her that I'm 51. She leans close, and in the sweetest voice says, "You're not 71", and just smiles. Numbers start 'clicking' in the back of my head, and my brain is feverishly trying to calculate if I can afford to relocate here NOW, PERMANENTLY! Click, click, click, tilt. Crap! The conversation continues to go well and we arrange a meeting for the next day. I've spent a lot of time at her table, and I explain that I have to let someone else have the opportunity to visit. Reluctantly, I head back to a safe corner and continue checking out the room.

There is some kind of contest happening on the stage. Before I can say "neyt", a pretty coed is dragging me onto the stage. Even though I like to dance and I teach dance, I hate performing (which has caused some disagreements with my dance partner back home). I don't know what she's saying in Russian, but she really wants me to participate. Now we and six other couples are on stage, standing on sheets of newspaper. The contest involves dancing on the papers without falling off. We make it to the second round and she gets a little too excited and rips her half of the "The Ukraine Post". We're disqualified - Oh darn (NOT). I waste no time getting off the stage. Maybe it's safer sitting at a table.

There's another dance contest, but this time it's for the girls. I have to say, Ukrainian women love to dance, and they dance incredibly sexy too. The contest is over and the main dance floor starts getting some action. I look for my raven-haired friend, but she's nowhere to be seen. I check the dance floor, but nothing again. So, while I'm there I get a few dances with some of the girls. I can see the other fellows with notebooks full of phone numbers and making all kinds of arrangements. The lights come up, and it looks like everyone has to leave because the private party is turning into a public nightclub in a few minutes. All the guys are busy with prospects, so I head outside and wait for them. Out front there are a lot of young people lingering, waiting for the club to open. I'm a little uncomfortable, so I figure I'll just meet them back at the hotel. I hope I remember how to get back - I forgot the map in my room. I find my way to the lobby, but nobody else is there. Am I the only guy who didn't get lucky?

She Works Hard for the Money

It's the next day and I get a private tour of Poltava with my new Ukrainian friend. The city is very pretty (but not as pretty as my date). There's a museum dedicated to the wars with Sweden. That might explain some of the blondes. We visit the church she attends and I get to meet some of her family. I also find out that this beauty works three days a week, attends school three days a week and writes her dissertation (doctorate) on Sundays. So many of the women here work and study incredibly hard. Six day work weeks are common.

I'm intrigued by this lady's jet black hair, and I would have bet a box of doughnuts that she uses the same dye as the 'Goth Girls' back home. And I would have lost those 'fat pills'. Her hair is naturally pitch black and amazingly thick. I have a date with Snow White! The women here are so exotic. At the end of our day, she gives me a flower. I'm trying to remember why I have that 'no romance' rule - oh yeah - hmmm.

Sumy

It's been nearly four hours since our bus left Polatva. I can see big exhaust stacks, towering in the distance. I wonder if that's Sumy? The sign ahead confirms it, as we pass this immense industrial complex; possibly a power plant. A few miles up we enter the actual city and it's charming, with a European flavor. I'm getting good at packing and unpacking now. I kept tonight's clothes on hangers with me. When I was looking through AFA's profiles, it seemed to me that Sumy had the highest percentage of 'hotties'. We'll soon see.

Tonight's social is a short walk down the cobblestone streets of downtown Sumy. The nightclub is tucked between shops, and easy to miss. Inside I pass another line of 'lovelies' and enter the club. There's a good sized dance floor, seating all around it, and a DJ. I make my way to the bar and check out the scene. One of the other tour members joins me (a fellow Italian paisano). He tells me about the very special lady he's invited to the social and really hopes she shows up. He met her on a previous tour, two years ago. An interpreter sees me idle and helps me start the rounds. I'm a little more comfortable about approaching tables now. From the previous socials, I get the feeling that some women are very serious about starting relationships, some curious, and some are just party animals.

I sit at a table with several lovely ladies, ranging in age from 20s to 40ish. One is a writer and so I tell her about the screenplay I've been working on. It's about a Knight on a quest, and she wants to play the princess. Unfortunately the only lead woman wears armor and brandishes two swords. She asks about the Knight's white horse, but again she's disappointed that he's on foot for most of the adventure. But apparently she wasn't too disappointed, since we still exchanged phone numbers.

The next table has 6 younger ladies, and all but one are beauticians. I can tell they aren't interested in me, but they are still curious. They want to see the pictures of my house and are surprised by my four car garage. I don't want to give them the wrong idea, and explain that I only have one car. The next question is my age. I say, "I'm 51", and they look shocked. They thought I was about 40. It seems the men of Ukraine don't age as well. We continue talking about various cultural differences and one says, "The men there make the women work and support them". Now I'm the one shocked. "Really?", I ask. They're all nodding in agreement. Whoa, I thought these stories were just rumors. I don't want to overstay my welcome, so I thank them and continued on.

Back in a corner is a large table with about eight young women. They're all students at the local college, and some speak English well enough that I don't need an interpreter. As soon as they find out I teach dance, one latches onto me and wants a lesson. I show her a couple of steps and a group of us are immediately making our way to the dance floor. The floor is full of stunning dancers. These women hit the floor as soon as the music starts, with or without a partner. By the third song, my dinner jacket comes off. It's seems almost surreal to be on this dance floor, packed with charming beauties. After a couple more songs we head back to the table. My paisano friend approaches and I signal him to take a seat. It turns out my new dance buddy is the girl he invited to the social. What are the odds? They want to dance again, so he grabs his heartthrob and I take her roommate. The dance floor and I are heating up and my tie soon relocates from my neck to a pocket. After a few more dances, I wave goodbye and search for something to drink.

Soft drink in hand, I watch the 'bevy of beauties' strutting their stuff. There are a few using the lighting system's vertical trusses for pole dancing. I get the feeling that these 'red-hotties' could 'chew me up and spit me out', but what a way to go! A good song comes on and I head back to the floor. There's a pretty blonde dancing alone, and I motion to her, asking her if she wants to dance with me. She nods and soon the dancing becomes flirtatious. At the tables the women are fairly reserved, but on the dance floor things loosen up. After a few songs, I walk her to her table. She's tall, slender, very pretty and a twenty year old student. Her English is weak, so her girlfriend translates. I haven't asked anyone out, so I think "what the heck". She agrees, but I sense some reservations. Off the dance floor she's become much more reserved. Since I don't know the town, I ask her to meet me at my hotel. She says "Women here don't go to hotels of men they don't know". I can tell she's got 'full shields up' now (sorry, I'm a Star Trek nerd). I say, "No, I mean meet me in the hotel lobby". She seems okay with that, but want's her friend to come and translate. "That's fine", but I can tell this isn't going well at all. I have the definite feeling that she is just being polite. They have class in the morning, so they head home early.

I take a seat back with my Italian buddy, his flame and her girlfriends. Soon the four of us are back on the floor. The party is so 'happening', they extend it for an extra hour. We close the place and head out for something to eat. I'm wondering where they're taking me, as we walk down a stone stairway, below street level. It opens into a brick-lined cellar, complete with arched ceilings. It has a medieval feel, and could easily be hundreds of years old. We grab a table adjacent to an alcove, with an alchemist working on some kind of brew (it's actually a mockup of a medieval alchemist in his lab). This place is so cool. Our dates help us with the ordering and we get a complete meal, including champagne for about $70 total. They want to double-date again tomorrow. I tell them that I already made a date, but I have this feeling it won't last long. We decide that since I have everyone's phone numbers, I can just call and meet up with them afterwards. Looks like my friend will have to entertain two beautiful twenty year olds on his own. Did I mention he's forty something?

Treat Her Like a Lady

The next morning, some of the tour members are heading back to Poltava. Apparently they've already met their dream girls in the previous town. The guys start trickling into the cafe for breakfast. Looks like a late night for many. Some want to find an internet cafe and I need some bottled water, so I join them. The internet cafe is packed with teenage boys, gaming. I wouldn't have expected this. The manager shows us around, and behind a couple of doors are a bunch more people on computers. It's a few Grivna per hour, so this must be a lot more affordable than purchasing a computer outright.

In the hotel lobby, I wait for my date and chat with one of the guys. His date arrives and they head out. He pops his head back in and says "There are two ladies waiting out here". They won't even come into the lobby - This date may be even shorter than I thought. I hurry out and greet them and notice how well both are dressed. My original thought was to take them to the hotel's cafe, allowing them an easy exit. But I know they don't get many opportunities to go out, so I want to make this a memorable evening for them. I tell them I want to find the restaurant I was at yesterday, and we make the short hike into Old Town. My date is asking me questions through her friend, and I'm hoping she doesn't think I'm ignoring her, since I'm so focused on finding the restaurant. I know there are stairs leading down somewhere. I have the ladies ask a nearby woman for directions, but no luck. They explain to me that it's futile, because most of the women here have never eaten at these restaurants. After a second pass, I see one of the guys standing in a doorway, and start to ask him. Before I finish, I realize we're here.

We're escorted to a table and go through the process of deciphering the Russian menu. They place the orders and I ask what they're having. They reply, "The same". I tell them, "You don't have to order the same as me. Get what you like." "We are shy", and she explains that the man normally chooses and orders for the woman. I can tell my date is still very anxious about the situation. Finally I say, "This evening is for you. We are here as friends, so I don't want you to worry about anything. Just enjoy yourselves." Instantly, things become much more relaxed and I finally realize what is happening - This woman, with her perfect body, natural platinum blonde hair and a face that could be on the cover of a glamour magazine, must be 'hit-on' constantly. As soon as she figured out that I wasn't another jerk, trying to take advantage, everything changed. She admits that some men, recently, have been rude to her.

We're starting to have fun now, and I admit that originally I thought this was going to be a short date. She also thought the same, but not anymore. I think some champagne is in order, and we check out the dessert menu. The conversation is becoming more personal now. I think we're talking about children. I'm not really sure; she's doing some kind of Ukrainian hypnotic thing with her penetrating brown eyes and my brain is turning into mush (But happy mush). Should we be talking about children? But then again our children would be beautiful. Hell, the Elephant Man could make beautiful children with this woman! Playful flirtation fills the rest of the evening, which is fleeting much too fast. Unfortunately it's another school night. We snap a few pictures and walk back.

A taxi pulls up to the hotel, and we all hug each other goodbye before they drive away. What a surprising turn of events. What I thought would be a quick cup of coffee, turned into a delightful, full evening. Too bad I have this 'no romance' rule. Maybe it's not so much a rule, but more like a guideline. Yeah, that's it: A guideline.

I wonder how my paisano is doing? Probably pretty damn good.

The Reluctant Return

Originally I was looking forward to getting back to the Western world (i.e. high pressure hot water 24-7, etc). But now I'm sitting in the plane, staring out the window feeling melancholy. I've had more fun in the past few days, than I've had in a year back home. There's a professional, attractive woman sitting next to me and we start chatting. Turns out she's an attorney from Europe, specializing in human rights, on her way to the United Nations. I had originally planned on catching up on sleep during the eight hour flight back, but we're really hitting it off. Too bad she's not available, but then again you can't have too many friends or European contacts.

Why is it I can meet one fantastic woman after another in Europe and nothing back in the States? I'm an average looking guy (some women even think slightly above average), pretty good income, great house and athletic build. And yet I always get this vibe, like I'm 'chopped liver'. And yes, I'm fairly normal, except for the occasional drooling on dates. I think I've finally figured it out:

1. Statistically, for every 100 female births there are 105 males born. During times of war, things get more evened out, but luckily there hasn't been much of that lately. You may have seen overall ratios that are more evenly balanced, but that's only because women tend to live longer than men. That will only work in your favor if you want to date 85 year olds. So this means about five guys out of a hundred get nothing. U.S. women can afford to be pickier. The ratio is reversed in the Ukraine and Russia.
2. American women like 'bad boys'. They may emphatically deny it, but ask why their marriage didn't work out or about the father of their child - Then you get the real scoop. I'm responsible, keep my word, pay bills on time, fair, career minded and in other words, boring. I actually had a dance partner, who thought the ultimate insult was to call her dependable. But in Eastern Europe, nice guys don't seem to finish last.

Does it Work?

I believe meeting the right person is very much a roll of the dice - Being at the right place at the right time and under the right circumstances. But the statistical probabilities can be greatly enhanced. In the Ukraine you'll meet a larger percentage of educated, attractive and fit women who appreciate responsible and sophisticated men. In the United States you'll meet many women who look more like Dr. Suess characters and desire guys who seem to take pride looking like they were dressed by a homeless, retarded person. Without actually looking for a bride, I met some fantastic women. Language can be a barrier, but as I mentioned earlier, most of these women have no problem working hard and studying hard.

The whole experience really is a great ego boost. In the States, I know beautiful women who are eager to dance with me, but that's because I can make them look good on the dance floor. The women in the Ukraine were actually interested in me. When I returned home, everyone noticed an improvement in my attitude. I think my borscht must have been spiked with Mojo!

I should also dispel a myth. Ukrainian women love their country and have close family ties. Few are desperate to escape, and even if they were only interested in getting a green card, five years is a long time to be married to someone who's incompatible. I think finding someone special is as difficult for them as it is for us. But conversely, you'll still need to use the same intuition you would in the States. There are women who are very serious about finding a husband, some just curious, party girls, gold diggers and those looking for an easy out. But like I said, the same concerns exist here, except in the Ukraine you'll meet women of a caliber who otherwise wouldn't give you a second glance back home.

Am I going back? I have a brand new copy of 'Rosetta Stone, Learn Russian levels 1, 2 & 3' sitting next to me.

Catch you on the next tour,
Ray

How To Get The Most From Your Romance Tour

Joining a Romance Tour is an important decision for most of us. Many men will spend months looking at all the information and getting ready for the tour. There is much you can do to maximize your tour so that you will get as much out of it as possible. Below are some tips to help you get the most from your Romance Tour. It's impossible to cover everything, or to go into great detail on the points that we do bring up in this short article. However, it will give you some insight into some simple ways you can improve the effectiveness of your tour.

Choose the right tour: No matter which city you travel to you will meet hundreds of beautiful women. However, it is important to try and determine, before hand, where the women are that most interest you. In some cases, due to time constraints or other factors, you have little choice as to the city or time you can attend. If that's the case it's really not a problem, as you can still implement the other tips to maximize your effectiveness. However, if your schedule allows you the luxury of choosing the exact city and time, then try to determine which city would be best for you. For example, if you live in a very rural area, you may want to try and focus on some of the smaller cities. Narrow down the number of profiles by creating your own personalized search using the search engine. That way you will only view profiles that are of interest to you. You can always expand your search criteria if you are not being shown enough profiles. Then try and pick a city that wil! l allow you to meet as many of those women as possible.

Send out letters: Sending out letters is a very positive tool. If you are taking one of our tours, you have access to as many addresses as you like, via the Platinum membership; why not take advantage of it? Sending letters to the women you are interested in accomplishes many things. First, it lets the woman know you are interested. Hopefully she will respond, giving you an opportunity to build a relationship prior to meeting her. Even is she doesn't respond, the letter still serves as a great icebreaker when you call her: "I sent you that wonderful letter with the beautiful photo of myself, what happened - did I scare you?" A good sense of humor and a well-written letter can go a long way. Another tip, please try and stay away from the obvious form letters; they can do more harm than good. If the woman feels that she is just one of hundreds you are less likely to receive a favorable response. Also, be sure to mention in your letter exactly when you are planning on! traveling. This will help improve your response rate, as the women will view you as someone who is serious. You can expedite your letters by using the Express Mail service.

Do your homework: Before you depart you should print out all the profiles of the women you are interested in. This way, you will have their profile handy and there will be no confusion. Once you arrive you can write notes on their profiles so that you can keep all the information straight about the different women you will be seeing. Make no mistake about it, this can be a very overwhelming process and it helps to be as organized as possible.

Submit Lists: Submit a list of names and or ID numbers of women you are interested in and would like to meet at the Socials. These women will be invited to the Socials so that you can meet them face-to-face. When you are at the Social you may not recognize these women, thus check with the staff to see if they are in attendance and asked to be introduced. If for some reason the women on your list do not attend the Socials, ask a staff member why and request assistance in arranging private meetings with the women who could not make the Socials.

Pre-arranged meetings: Arranging meetings prior to your tour can be a positive thing, but you need to be careful. Remember, you still haven't met this woman and once you do she may not be what you thought, or you may not be what she had in mind. Therefore, do not make any arrangements that will interfere with you attending the Socials. Also, keep in mind that you will be meeting many women at the Socials with whom you will want to spend time, so be sure to leave enough room in your schedule for that. If you have a good correspondence going with a woman, (or even several women) then by all means start to pencil them in on your calendar - just be sure that it doesn't interfere with the women you have yet to meet.

Make use of the office: Once you arrive be sure to make use of the office/hospitality room. The staff in the office is there to support you and your efforts of meeting as many women as possible. You will find the profiles of all the women in that city and the surrounding area located in the office. Take your time and go through all of the books, you will find some profiles in the office books that are not on the Internet. Let the staff in the office assist you in making calls and setting up dates. It is much more efficient when you allow them to assist you in the calls.

Do not skip any of the Socials or events: We hold numerous Socials and Events in order to expose you to as many women as possible. Some men will find women they are interested in early on, and will then skip some of the Socials and events. This is fine if everything works out, if not you have lost the opportunity to meet many women at one time. Furthermore, even if you believe you have discovered Miss Right, attending all the events can only reinforce that belief.

Do not use a woman's friend as an interpreter: There are many reasons for this one, but the most obvious is that you want to have an interpreter who is as objective as possible. This is no time for her friend to be practicing her English or trying to earn a few extra dollars. You have a very short time and must make the best use of it. Thus, always insist on an objective, third party interpreter, if one is needed at all.

Stay focused: Again, this is a very overwhelming process and it can be easy to lose one's focus. Prior to departing it is a good idea to put down, in writing, the qualities that are important for you. Examples may be age ranges, children, height, education, etc. etc. The factors on your list should not be set in stone, but should serve as a strong guide, a tool to assist in keeping you focused. When you meet someone that you are attracted to, take out the list (when you are alone!) and see how she compares. It may be that you are willing to compromise some factors for others, however if she is nowhere close to what you had in mind you may want to take a closer look.

Don't waste time: There is one constraint we can do little about: time. Although our tours are the longest in the industry, sooner or later they do end. If you are not sure about someone, and feel that things are really not progressing the way they should, please do not wait until the end of the tour to talk about it. Talk to your group leader and get his input as soon as possible. The group leaders are very experienced and are more than happy to share that experience with you.

Expose yourself to the language: Chances are you are not going to be able to master a foreign language prior to your Romance Tour. However, even a cursory knowledge of the language can serve as a great icebreaker and actually come in handy. There are many programs available to assist you in learning a foreign language. Click here to see the ones that we felt were most effective.

Be relaxed and have fun: Some men tend to put so much pressure on themselves that it can make it very difficult to cultivate any meaningful relationships. The men who seem to do the best are the ones who are relaxed and enjoy the entire process. They have already determined that even if they do not find the love of their life, they are still going to have a wonderful time.

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Risks and Responsibilities

Greetings!

This month we felt it was important to discuss some of the risks and responsibilities associated with using services such as ours to find that one special person. Most services will paint the best picture possible when it comes to international dating and meeting via the Internet. However, as with anything, there is always an element of risk involved. Just walking down the street involves a certain amount of risk. Any relationship, domestic or foreign, will have a certain element of risk. This month we would like to discuss some of the risks involved with international relationships, and ways you can minimize those risks.

I would like to preface this by saying that most of you will never experience any of the red flags we will be speaking of below. We have over 20,000 profiles on our site alone and the vast, vast, majority of those women are sincere in their quest for that special someone. However, there are always going to be a very small percentage of people who have a different agenda and are only interested in gaining money or other favors instead of finding someone for a long and lasting relationship. It's a shame we even have to waste our time discussing this but, unfortunately, these types of people have and will always exist. Even though they are few and far between, you should be aware of them and some of the common ploys they may use.

Asking for money: There are a variety of ways this can be done. Below are some of the more common:

1. My mother, brother, father, great uncle, cat or dog, is very sick and needs some kind of operation and/or medicine right away. (plays on your sympathy, kindness, and generosity)

2. I already have a visa and I can come to visit you if you will send me the money for the airline tickets. (Tourist Visas are very difficult to come by, see below)

3. I do not have a visa but if you send me x amount of dollars I can obtain one and then I will pay my own airfare. (Tourist Visas are very difficult to come by, throwing money at it does not make it easier)

4. I only need $50.00 or so a month for an E-mail account so I can write to you. (Sounds innocuous enough, however if 10 to 15 men are sending $50.00 each, that can add up to quite a bit)

5. I need x amount of dollars for English lessons so I can speak with you. (see number 4)

6. I need x amount of dollars to have your letters translated or my letters to you translated. (see number 4)

Again, the above are intended to be red flags only. If the woman you are corresponding with has expressed any of the above to you or something similar, it does not automatically mean there is a problem. Much of this depends on the situation. Have you met her face to face? How long have you known her? Have you met her family? Obviously, the better you know someone the less chance of their being a problem, but it does pay to keep your common sense about you. The safest course of action is to simply never send money to a woman you have not met face to face.

· The Visa: It is very difficult for most people, especially younger women who reside in Russia and other CIS countries, to obtain a tourist visa, business visa or most other visas to the US as well as some other countries. Fiancée Visas can be obtained, normally with no problem, however, one of the conditions is that you must have met face to face sometime within the last two years. A tourist Visa is not expensive, less than $100.00, but it is very difficult to obtain. Thus, be very careful of anyone who tells you they can obtain a visa via a third party for a certain amount of money.

· Whenever possible travel with a group. It is much riskier travelling half-way around the world to meet just one person than traveling with a group to meet hundreds of different women, including the woman or women you have already been corresponding with. You must keep in mind that things can and often are quite different once you meet in person, regardless of the phone calls and letters. A funny little thing called chemistry takes over and anything can and does happen. When you are with a group tour you are insulated, and even if things do not work out with the woman or women you had been corresponding with you will have support as well as hundreds of other opportunities to meet other women due to all the functions that have been arranged.

· Do not try to take shortcuts. Most of the problems we have seen over the years are the result of men trying to go around the “system”, and sending money to women whom they have never met before and know little about. She may tell you that she can fly over and see you the next week once she receives the money. It is tempting, but rarely happens. The prudent thing to do is to go over, preferably with a group tour, and meet her in person and get to know as much about her as possible prior to purchasing any tickets for her or sending any money.

The information in this newsletter is not designed to scare you, it is designed to educate you. As was stated earlier, the vast majority of you will never have this problem; we are only addressing the few cases where the people asking for money or other favors were not legitimate. If you do encounter a problem it will normally be someone playing on your lack of time to travel, your busy schedule, and the part in all of us that desires to take the easy road, such as throwing cash towards a problem as a solution. If you ever think there may be a problem with anyone you are in correspondence with, please check with us. We will look at the woman’s file and let you know if we have had any other such complaints. We are very experienced and we understand how such things as the visa process, E-mail and translation accounts, and medical procedures function overseas. Please E-mail us whenever you think there may be a problem and we will, at the very least, give you our opinion as to what we think of the situation. There are no guarantees in life, but that does not mean that you should not be cautious and aware of any potential problems.

We wish all of you the best of luck in finding that one special person, and please do not let a very tiny percentage of “bad apples” interfere with your search for the woman of your dreams.

If you have any questions or comments about this newsletter please E-mail john@wwdl.net

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How Can I Avoid Fraud in my Search for a Foreign Wife?

It seems the question of possible fraud related to the search for a foreign bride is much more common than it was just two or three years ago. What has changed? Why is there more doubt or suspicion now than in the past? These are valid questions that anyone embarking on a search for a foreign wife should be asking. This article will attempt to shed some light on the subject, while at the same time helping to alert the reader to some possible red flags that they may want to watch for. I would like to preface this article by making the point that the vast, and I do mean the vast, majority of women who join legitimate International Introduction Agencies, are sincere in their search for a mate. Unfortunately, the ones that are involved in unethical behavior tend to attract the most attention, making it more difficult for the thousands of sincere women. We have come up with a list of 10 ways that, if followed, will help protect you from unethical women and/or agencies. The following information is of a general nature, based on our experience and client comments, and is not intended to describe any one particular agency.

1. Use caution with sites/agencies that allow you to post your profile on-line and receive E-mails from apparently interested women, which you must then pay for in order to open. We have received numerous complaints about these types of services. Generally, the services typically work with many smaller Russian/Ukrainian agencies that are normally paid a fee for each E-mail that is opened, and each E-mail sent. Many of the complaining clients claim that the inherent problem with such sites is the built in motivation for the men to open as many letters as possible from the women, the more letters that are opened the more money that these smaller agencies will make. We suggest that, prior to ever using such a service, you call the main agency and ask what safeguards, if any, they have in place to assure you of the legitimacy of the letters and photos being sent from the smaller foreign agencies. You should also insist on the woman's personal contact information, i.e. home address and/or telephone number, after the very first contact so you are not forced to continue paying for each correspondence.

2. You should always beware of any unsolicited E-mails you receive, even if you have posted your profile information on-line with one or more of the services discussed in #1 above. Keep in mind that the vast majority of foreign women in the FSU, Latin America, etc. are not surfing the Internet with a laptop and DSL connection in their home! Most of the women do not have access or have very limited access to the Internet. In the West we want everything instantly, and we want our communication with these women to be instant, a fact which unethical companies can use to their advantage.

3. Beware of women who will not disclose their personal information to you, either address, E-mail, or phone number. Normally they are corresponding through an agency and, for whatever reason, will not disclose their contact info. This usually means that the man must pay for each contact that is made.

4. Beware of women who come on very strong in their first one or two letters, telling you that they love you, want to come see you, etc. etc. Although international dating tends to progress faster than domestic dating, an "I Love You" within the first letter or two may spell trouble.

5. Beware of women who ask for money for any reason whatsoever. You should immediately report these women to the agency. The amount may seem very small, however she may be requesting that same amount from 20 to 100 people.

6. Beware of women who want you to travel, and pay for them to travel, to a neutral place right away to meet them.

7. Beware of women who tell you that they can obtain a tourist visa. They may say they can obtain the visa for a certain amount of money and ask you to send the money (see#6)

8. Beware of women to whom you are writing that seem unavailable to meet you face to face when you are ready to travel. The excuse given might be something to do with some personal matter, a sudden illness of a family member, or numerous emergency scenarios.

9. When dealing with agencies, check their BBB report, ask for references, and ask how much media attention the company has had. These are all good ways to determine if the agency is legitimate.

10. Trust your instincts. One of the main reasons that a small fraction of women and agencies are able to operate unethically is that many men ignore the warning signs. It's not that they are stupid or particularly naïve; it is because they truly want to believe in what the woman is saying. Whenever there are emotions involved there is a greater risk of fraud. Those emotions can range from love, sorrow, greed, etc, etc. Unfortunately, there are and always will be predators who are willing to capitalize on people who are experiencing one or more of those emotions.

We hope this list has helped, and has given you some insight into some possible problems. Remember, the vast majority of women are sincere and really searching for someone special with whom they can share their life. Please do not look at every foreign woman or every agency with a jaundiced eye. Just keep the points we mentioned above in mind and you should have no problem avoiding unethical women and or agencies. If you have any questions, or experiences of your own that you would like to share, please e-mail us at john@wwdl.net

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Bringing Your Special Someone Home!

(This article is meant for general information only. Prior to making any decisions we highly recommend you contact an attorney with substantial experience in immigration law.)

Although this article deals primarily with the laws of the United States as they relate to immigration, some of this information will apply to many other countries. Thus, even if you do not reside in the US, you may find some of the information relative.

We are asked time and time again, “Why can’t I just send her plane fare and have her come over to visit me?” Many men are under the mistaken impression that it is her country that is holding her back. Actually, it’s the INS and United States Immigration Policy that dictates how and when she can come into the country. If the woman is residing in Russia, the Ukraine or any South American country, she needs no special permission from her government to travel to the US, or any other country for that matter - she is free to come and go as she pleases.

In order for anyone from Russia, the Ukraine, or most South American countries to enter the US, they must first obtain a US Visa. There are many different types of Visas available, Work Visas, Student Visas, Fiancée Visas, Tourist Visas, etc. etc. For our purposes we are going to focus on the Tourist Visa and the Fiancée Visa.

The Tourist Visa process is much simpler and faster than the Fiancée Visa process, as a matter of fact it only takes one day. All that is involved is an interview and a decision is made right there on the spot as to whether or not to issue the visa. The problem lies in the fact that Tourist Visas can be very difficult to obtain for many Russian, Ukrainian, and South American residents. They must first prove that they will return back from the United States per the terms of the visa. While this is difficult, it is not impossible. The consulate will look at many factors such as the travel history of the person applying for the visa, ties to the community, employment, and children, among many others. It has been our experience that most women applying for a Tourist Visa are denied. This is especially true in the case of women coming to the United States in order to build a relationship with a man. In these cases the Fiancée Visa is the more appropriate visa to use. The! Fiancée Visa is an immigrant visa while a Tourist Visa is not. There are also potential problems with the woman applying for and receiving a Tourist Visa, and then marrying while here on the Tourist Visa. Therefore, if you are considering a long term relationship and marriage, we recommend using the Fiancée Visa over the others.

The Fiancée Visa is intended as an immigrant visa for those wishing to marry. It allows for the woman to travel to the US and stay for a period of 90 days, during which time she must either marry the person who petitioned for her to come over, or return to her country. One of the requirements of the Fiancée Visa is that there must have been a face-to-face meeting prior to applying for the visa. This means that you must actually meet, in person, and cannot just apply for a fiancée visa with someone you have been writing to but have never met.

The Fiancée Visa process is fairly straightforward. Once you meet and both decide to go forward, there are certain forms that must be filled out by both parties. The man must then file the paperwork with one of the four regional service centers, here in the US, depending on your place of residence. The service centers do vary in the time they take to process the paperwork. At the time of this writing the process times are running anywhere from 14 days to 4 months, depending on the service center. Once it is approved from the service center, the woman is contacted from the appropriate US embassy (for Russia it’s Moscow, in the Ukraine it’s Warsaw, Poland) and a package with complete instructions is sent to her. She will have to do a few things prior to her interview, such as have a medical test done and a police background check. Once she has accomplished these items she will have her interview and, in most cases, will be issued the K-1 or Fiancée Visa. If she has chi! ldren under the age of 21, she can include them in the process, they will receive a K-2 Visa.

The Fiancée Visa is a wonderful tool and one we highly recommend. It allows time (90 days) for both of you to get to know each other better and for her to see what life is really like here in the US and with you. It’s an immigrant visa and, unlike the tourist visa, if you do marry there is no reason for the woman to leave the country. We also recommend this method over marrying abroad. With the recent changes in the law regarding marriage abroad it can now take up to twice as long to bring someone back if you do marry abroad. Furthermore, you are not giving the woman a chance to see what everyday life will be like once she arrives here, or allowing for the extra time to get to know each other better.

One word of caution about the Fiancée Visa: It is a SINGLE ENTRY visa! This means that once she comes she cannot leave and then re-enter the country before or after you marry. No trips to Mexico, Canada, Europe, or anywhere outside of the US. So if you are planning a honeymoon it must be within the US. Once you marry you can apply for an Advanced Parole, which will allow her to come and go during the Adjustment of Status period.

Again, this article is meant for general information only. Prior to making any decisions we highly recommend you contact an attorney with substantial experience in immigration law. We recommend Maria V. Jones. Our Romance Tour clients are entitled to a discount on the already low fees Maria V. Jones charges to prepare and file the Fiancée Visa application for you. For more information concerning this matter and his services you can click here

We also offer an Do-It-Yourself Fiancée Visa Kit, written by Maria V. Jones. It is a very informative book, about 100 pages, containing all the information and forms required to prepare and file the Fiancée visa application yourself. Click here for more information

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Adapting to a Foreign Country

Below are a few tips relating to adapting to a foreign country. We hope they will give you some insight and help to make the transition much smoother and comfortable for everyone concerned.

Over the years we have dealt with countless couples that have met and married via our service. By talking with those couples, and pulling from some personal experience, we have put together a few tips which we think are important in helping that someone special you love, adapt to what may be a very different environment:

· Realistic Expectations: Expectations are a part of any relationship, but especially so when one of the parties moves to another country to live with the other. It's very important that you're honest about who you are and what your life is like. We are all prone to exaggeration when dating, however, it's necessary that she has a realistic expectation of what life with you will be like. For example, if you live for the outdoors and love to hunt, fish, and spend as much time as possible outside, then be sure that you convey that to the women you are interested in right away. A great way to do that is to send photos, or bring photos with you, that show you doing the things you enjoy. This way she will have a very good idea of your lifestyle and there will be fewer surprises when she comes over. It's much easier to adapt to a totally new and unfamiliar surrounding when you have a clear picture in your mind as to what to expect. It may not always be exactly as she pictured it, but the farther away reality is to what she imagined, the more difficult the transition.

It is also important that you discuss with your Fiancée, before she comes over, exactly what it is she wants to do once she is here. If she is a Doctor, does she wish to continue her Medical career? Do you both want to start a family right away? Would she like to go to school to improve her English? These items should be discussed prior to her coming over so you both know what to expect when she arrives. Once she arrives you should do everything you can to help her achieve the goals you both discussed.

· Support: You may very well be the only person that she will know when she first comes over. That can be a bit intimidating. It's important that you show her as much support as possible, especially at the beginning, to make her feel as comfortable as possible. There are many ways of doing this but one of the most important is to spend as much time as you can with her, show her how much you care for her, and that you are there to help her feel at home in whatever ways you can. It's also helpful to introduce her to other women who have emigrated from the same country. For instance, if your bride is from Russia a good place to look for recent emigrants, and places where they meet, is a store specializing in Russian goods. Contact with friends and family back home is also very important. There are many affordable long distance plans on the market today so that an over-seas phone call no longer has to break the bank. The Internet also offers many opportunities for communication.

· Lifestyle Differences: When someone moves to a foreign country there is always an adaptation period. Things are not going to be the same as they were in their home country. For instance, in many cities in Russia and the Ukraine mass transit is the primary means of transportation, many people simply never learn to drive. In many American cities there is very little mass transit, and one is very dependent on the automobile. Thus, learning to drive may be a significant change. Simple things like shopping can be much different from country to country. In Russia there are very few large shopping centers, however there are many smaller stores selling only certain items. Thus, in many Russian cities you may visit 4 or 5 stores everyday just to do the household shopping. In America we tend to visit one large store about once a week to do all the shopping for the week. These are not huge differences but they can take some getting used to

· Be a Good Listener: One of the most important aspects of any relationship is communication. It is very important that we truly understand what the other is feeling. Inter-cultural marriages have the added dimension of language differences. Your Fiancée or wife may speak very good English or may still be learning the language, you may be learning her language as well. Even if your wife speaks your language fluently, or vice-versa, there is still the possibility of honest misunderstandings. Words that we have used all of our life may mean something different to someone who is not as familiar with the language. You also have to be very careful about using slang and sayings such as, "the ball is in your court". Many times people will pretend to understand just to be polite, but in reality, communication has not been achieved. Thus if you are discussing something very important be sure that you are both on the same page and understanding what each other is trying to say.

· Show her you love her: The most important thing you can do to make her feel welcome and ease the transition is to show her how much you love her. Bringing home flowers for no special reason, or cooking her a romantic dinner, will go a long ways towards smoothing over any little hurdles she may be trying to overcome in adapting to your country.

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Russian Wedding Traditions

If you’re lucky enough to be engaged to a lovely Russian lady, you may want to acquaint yourself with some of Russia’s typical wedding traditions. Courtship in Russia usually begins in the late teens, as becoming a treasured wife and beloved mother are two very important objectives for the average Russian girl.

Russians have no formal engagement ceremony. A man will ask a lady to marry him, she will agree, and generally there are no engagement rings, no bent knees, and many families are not even notified right away.

Wedding plans are quite simple compared to American standards. Russia does not recognize church weddings to be official, so each couple must register with ZAGS, the body of local government that officiates marriage, divorce, births, deaths, etc. The couple will plan their wedding to occur in the following 1 - 3 months, and will choose either a church ceremony or a civil ceremony at a so-called “Wedding Palace.” The latter is known as a “Citizens' Marriage.”

In a traditional Russian Orthodox wedding, the couple is crowned “Royal Couple of the Day.” The priest blesses the rings. After exchanging the rings, the bride and groom will be given lighted candles signaling the couple's spiritual willingness to receive God’s blessing. They join right hands to symbolize “oneness” as the priest leads everyone in prayer. Now the couple will be “crowned” by the priest who will hold elaborate crowns over their heads, signifying the martyrdom of Christ, and the immeasurable self-sacrifice required on both sides for a successful marriage. A common cup of wine will be given to the couple to drink, symbolizing the sharing of joys and burdens, and finally a blessing is bestowed upon the newlyweds and all those who attend .

In previous centuries, wedding guests used to attempt to drive away unclean spirits from the ceremony by firing a gun during the couple’s blessing. Other methods of scaring away evil spirits included hammering nails into the church walls, and the cracking of a whip by the best man. Sometimes guests and relatives would mention the bride and groom by name for several days so as to lead spirits astray.

In the modern Russian civil ceremony, each couple is greeted with bread and salt to symbolize fertility and success. Later at the reception, each may take a bite from the bread or wedding cake, and the one who takes the biggest bite may be the leader of the family household.

The groom will have to undergo a few challenges on the way to the alter to prove his determination to marry his beloved bride-to-be. For example, on his way to retrieve his bride for the ceremony he may be prevented from fetching her until he answers a series of questions or puzzles. He might be given a piece of paper with kisses on it, and be required to identify which lips were his bride-to-be’s before being allowed to move on to the next puzzle. Another popular wedding custom is for the bride’s friends to smuggle her away from the groom during the reception when he is preoccupied. They will hide her in an undisclosed location and make the groom find her, or pay a hefty ransom for her safe and timely return.

Wedding rings are placed on the ring finger of the right hand, and the groom still gets to kiss the bride. Russian weddings are usually a two-day affair, beginning with a church ceremony, continuing with a train of cars around the city while the couple visits memorials of people who died in WWII or the Russian Civil War, and other famous landmarks. The couple lays flowers at these sights, expressing appreciation for the sacrifices of those before them. After this 2-3 hour tour of the city, it’s time for the reception. The wedding reception will usually be held at a home or a restaurant, and may go on for several days depending on the amount of food, liquor and friends and family to share it with. During the reception, a close friend or relative will make a champagne toast to the new couple and, keeping with tradition, everyone will throw their glasses on the floor bringing good luck to the couple if the glasses break.

Some standard American wedding customs are only recently becoming popular in Russia, such as having a wedding cake, bridesmaid dresses and a release of doves to signify God’s blessing. The videotaping of ceremonies, receptions and first nights together is also catching on.

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Anatomy of a Social

Having just returned from our Moscow and St. Petersburg Romance Tours I thought it only appropriate to share with you a little about the experience and discuss, in general, about the Socials and the advantages they offer. There is so much that goes on during any one given Romance Tour that it would be impossible to include all of it in this newsletter, so we will focus on the Socials, in the hopes that this information will benefit you should you decide to embark on this remarkable journey.

First I would like to state that I believe our Socials are the single most effective way to meet the one person with whom you would like to build a serious relationship. Lately there have been companies that have popped up stating that serious women do not attend Socials, and their method, (normally one-on-one introductions) is superior to the Socials. Since we have a vast database of female clients in all of our tour cities and do numerous one-on-one introductions ourselves (included for free with our tours) in addition to the Socials, I can objectively tell you that the Socials are far, far superior.

The vast majority of women who attend our Socials are serious, because if they are not we do not invite them back. Our Socials are invitation only, so the women who attend our Socials are members. We have an excellent reputation in the industry in policing our own service so that if there are women on our site who have a different agenda we remove them from the site, meaning they will not be invited to Socials. The entrance door to the Social is carefully watched and everyone, both men and women, are screened prior to entering. There are a small number of women who would prefer to meet you on a one-on-one basis, as opposed to the Social setting, which is no problem and may even work out better for the both of you. In those cases we simply arrange for the meeting. However, most of the women look forward to and enjoy our Socials and the opportunity to meet the men that attend.

The Socials provide an excellent environment in which you can meet hundreds of different women in a very short time. In order to set up one introduction or date you must first pick the woman, and then we must contact her. We then have to find a time that works for both of you. You then have to meet at the appointed time and place and if she is not what you thought she would be you are still obligated to go out on the date and spend your time and money, even though you knew in the first 5 minutes that this would never really work.

Contrast the one-on-one scenario with the Socials, where you supply us with a list of the women you would like to meet, and we invite them (and many others) to a tastefully done event where the women are treated with the utmost respect. In this case you get to meet all of the women you are interested in for a brief amount of time just to see if there is any chemistry, any 'spark", any reason to actually go ahead and set up a date. The Socials also give you the opportunity to meet women that you would have never thought about inviting. As a matter of fact, many of the men who attend our Socials find that they are more interested in women that they never picked from the Internet or catalog books.

The Socials also serve as an excellent frame of reference. If you only go out on two or three dates and find someone you really like, you really do not have many other women to compare her with, how do you really know that there is not someone else out there that may be a better match for you? By going to the Socials you have the opportunity to meet hundreds of different women, from all walks of life. This gives you an excellent perspective, one that most men will never experience.

The following are some common mistakes men make with regards to the Socials:

Misinformation about Socials: Listening to other companies or even individuals telling them that the Socials are just a meat market for opportunists. If other companies could actually perform the same type of Socials that we do, with the same number of men and women attending, they would. Our Socials are very well controlled, the women attending are serious. It is very difficult for other companies to duplicate what we do and how we do it, thus they attempt to denigrate the entire process. If you are searching for information about the validity of the Socials, especially our Socials, be sure to ask for facts, as well as what source or base of information they are using to reach their conclusions.

Not attending all of the Socials: This is a big mistake that many men make. You would think that the men would be happy to go to all the Socials where, with our program, they are meeting different women at each and every Social. The fact is that some of the men will meet women they are interested in at the first or second Social and will not go to the other Socials. By doing that you are giving up the opportunity to meet the hundreds of other women that are available. This goes back to the frame of reference we spoke about earlier. If you think you met someone at the first Social that could be the one, you owe it to yourself and her to go to the other Socials to make sure that she is the one. Even if you think she's the one, she may change her mind after a few days, and then you have lost the opportunity to meet all of these women at once. We will still be able to assist with one- on-one introductions, but it is a slower and less effective process.

Not talking to as many women as possible during the Social: This is another common mistake that many men make, especially at the first Social. The Social is a very new experience and we deal with new experiences based on our past experiences. The problem lies in the fact that you have never experienced anything quite like one of our Socials. We do our best to warn you, but the first Social is overwhelming. Many men will find a woman whom they feel comfortable with and spend quite a bit of time with her during the Social. The true purpose of the Social is to briefly meet as many of the women as possible, it is not a cocktail party, the intent is not to meet just one or two women and spend all your time with them. The women at the Social, as opposed to women whom you may meet at bars and other social settings, actually want to meet you! They have joined our service with the express intention of meeting someone for a serious relationship, so it is much much easier to approach these women and converse with them.

Not taking notes, making dates: The Socials can be somewhat overwhelming and it is easy to get caught up in all of the excitement. Some men make the mistake of thinking that they are going to remember who was who the next day. They may look at a pad of paper with Olga's number on it, or Tanya's number, and wonder who exactly Olga was. There are quite a few Olga's out there so it is important that you take good notes and go ahead and set up dates right there and then when you find someone you are interested in.

There are other mistakes that are made; however, when you attend one of our tours we give you a very long and exhaustive orientation, which covers all of this and much more. We also have our own 'Romance Counselors" who are there with you the entire time and will do their best to keep you on track during the Socials.

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What Services Are Right For Me In My Search For A Foreign Bride?

If you are working with a full service Introduction Agency there will be a host of services available in your search for someone special. How is one to choose the specific service or services that will help in reaching ones goal? Just because a company happens to offer a large number of services doesn't necessarily mean that they are all going to be right for you to use under all circumstances. This article will detail some of the services available, and discuss the pros and cons of each service and when it is appropriate to use.

Writing letters: Letters are a great starting point and can be a very important and effective part of the entire process. It's always nice to have some communication with at least one or two women prior to actually going over to meet face to face. Who doesn't enjoy receiving letters in his mailbox or via E-mail from beautiful women who may be interested in a serious relationship? One problem is that some men become too dependent on the letter writing process, placing too much emphasis on it. I have seen cases where the men thought they were in great relationships based on the correspondence, when they finally met the relationship quickly turned for the worse because there was just no physical chemistry. I have also seen the reverse, where the two meet and the chemistry is great and before you know it they are engaged. Chemistry is something you simply cannot measure until you meet in person, no matter how many letters are involved.

Another problem with the letter writing process is that some men may only send off one or two letters and if they do not receive a reply they feel that the whole system is flawed. If you are going to write letters it is important that you follow the letter writing tips, give yourself a chance by writing to enough women, and do not react too emotionally, no matter what kind of response you receive.

Unfortunately, you must also beware of the fraud issue when writing letters. If you are meeting face to face there is less of a chance of fraud (although still possible), however with the letter writing process you really do not know who you are dealing with. Our service is much better than others in that we do not accept electronically submitted profiles; we must have them by regular mail. We are also very responsive to any complaints concerning any of the profiles, so there is much less of a chance of problems, but you still need to be careful.

If you follow the common sense rules under some good advice, and the letter writing tips, the letter writing process can be very effective and very rewarding. However, letter writing is only a small part of the overall process of finding a foreign bride.

Express Mail:

In this age of instant gratification the speed of correspondence is very important. As stated in previous newsletters that is one of the main factors for an increase in fraud. The simple fact is that most of these women who are very sincere do not have regular access to E-mail. If you want to communicate with them you really do still have to use regular mail. Some of the women on our site may have access to some kind of E-mail, and if that is the case we will give that out, but the majority do not. If you want to expedite your letter the Express Mail Service is a good option. It is only an option; you can send out the letter yourself and wait the 10 to 14 days for it to get there. When you think about it, you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, so 10 to 14 days should not really be that significant. However, the Express Mail Service is a good way to cut that down to 3 to 4 days, and she can use it in reverse to mail back to you quickly. You may want to send a few of your letters to the women you are very interested in by the Express Service and the others by regular mail. There is something to be said about receiving an envelope in your mailbox, with a photo or two from a beautiful foreign woman!

Men's Reverse Publication:

This is a great tool for those of you who are just starting out and really do not have any preferences for which city or even country the woman of your dreams comes from. This publication will go out to all the new women coming on our site every month, as well as being distributed at our social events and offices. What is nice about the Men's Publication is the women get to see your photo and read about you and then write letters to you (free of charge) if they are interested. This way you know that the women writing are interested and that can save quite a bit of time. The only draw back of the Men's Publication is that you will receive letters from women from different cities and even different countries. It is somewhat of a shotgun approach, which is great for those starting out. However, if you decided that you want to go to a particular city like St. Petersburg, Russia, then you may be better off writing letters to women whom you are interested in, than advertising yourself in the Men's Publication.

Three-Way Calling:

The translator-assisted phone call can be a great way to make "instant contact' with someone you are especially interested in. Most of the women on the service do have phone numbers. We leave it up to the women to actually give them out for a number of reasons. First of all it gives the women some control over the process. Many men will not take the considerable time differences into account when calling. The women may also be subject to obscene phone calls. Many of these women live with extended families and it is simply not fair to them or their family members to give out their phone numbers. However, the translator assisted call is a way that the men can still quickly make contact with the woman or women they are interested in without compromising the woman's privacy. If, during the call the woman is comfortable with giving her number out and a translator is not needed, the man is free to call back directly.

This is a very good service to make a quick initial contact, and then follow up with a more detailed letter.

Gift Service:

There are certain things that tend to be universal about women, and receiving flowers or other gifts is one of those things. Sending gifts can be a very powerful tool and one that will normally make you stand out from the crowd. There are things that you need to be careful about when using the Gift Service since there are different customs observed in the various counties we service. Please read the information on the gift site prior to sending your order.

Independent Tours

Although we operate offices on a year round basis in all of our tour cities, we do not recommend going over by yourself to simply meet one or two women you have been corresponding with. Going over individually is not as effective as going with a group tour. Individual tour clients will normally spend close to, if not more, than what group tour clients will spend, but only meet a tiny fraction of the women that group tour clients will meet. However, if you must go over individually please try to at least schedule it at the same time of a group tour so if you find yourself in need of services such as Socials, you can get them. If that is not possible then make sure you have the contact numbers for the office in the particular city you are traveling too so they can assist you if the need arises.

Group Romance Tours

Joining a Group Romance tour is the single most powerful thing you can do to achieve your goal of finding that one special woman. The tours are very efficient and effective. We have touched on this subject of Group Tours and how to benefit from them in previous newsletters so I will not repeat that info here. (If you missed that newsletter you can view it here)

Discounted Long Distance Services

If you are going to get involved in the International Introduction arena you will, at some point, need an affordable long distance program. The good news is that there are a ton of good options available, the bad news is it could take you hours to wade through all the different programs. You can try by starting with this link which will take you to a site that will give you a number of good programs, they have proven to be a very reputable supplier. Be sure that if you are going to purchase pre-paid plans that you will use what you purchase! Also keep in mind that not all services are equal when it comes to quality. It may be a great price but you may never be able to get through, so you really have to shop around and test a few different programs.

Language Programs

Communication is important in any relationship. Most full service sites will offer Foreign Language Classes (tapes, CD's, and books) and or Electronic Translators. In the case of language classes, be sure that you will have enough time to follow through with the classes that you are purchasing. Even a cursory knowledge of her language will go a long way, but don't expect to be fluent in just a few short weeks!

The Electronic Translators can be a great tool. Be sure you pick the one that will suit your needs with regards to number of words, type of languages offered, and whether or not you want it to pronounce the words for you.

As you can see there are many services available to someone who is serious about finding a foreign bride. Most men will use a combination of these services in order to reach their goal.

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Motivations

There are various reasons why men and women use general on-line dating services to try and find their soul mate. The usual reasons are:
Not enough time
Not meeting quality people
Not enough exposure to the kind of people I want to meet
Safety reasons
Alternative option

All of the above are valid reasons to use some sort of on-line dating service. However, when we move to the realm of International Dating Services, the reasons tend to become more specific or focused, for both the men and the women. In this article we will address the most common motivations for the men and the women, hopefully providing the reader with a better insight as to why this type of 'dating" is becoming more and more popular.

Motivation of the MEN

· Beautiful Women!
Actually, it goes a bit deeper than that. We all strive to find a match that we are physically attracted to; that is normally one of the first things that we look for. But why are so many men willing to go halfway around the world to find that special someone?
We deal with thousands of men and listen to a variety of reasons why they are using the service. We will share the most common with you here:
· The roles between American men and American women have become very muddled. It used to be automatic that you would open a door for a lady or compliment her on her dress or pay for the dinner date. Now it is not so clear and things even get more confusing once the relationship begins. On the other hand, the roles men and women play in other countries still seem to be clearly defined, for example, you have no doubt in your mind that you should open the door for a Russian woman.
· Family is a very important motivation for men. Many of the men who use the service are in their late thirties and forties and still wish to start a family. Some have been divorced and some have never been married, however, at this point in their lives they wish to start a new family. It is very difficult to find women in the United States who are in their late thirties or 40's who are willing to give up their careers and begin a family. Due to the age stigma, prevalent in the United States and other western countries, it is also difficult for an older man to find a younger women to settle down with and raise a family. Again, many women in countries like Russia and Ukraine would prefer to have a man, foreign or not, who is somewhat older. They view an older man as being much more stable, loyal, and mature.
· Sincerity. In the United States there is quite a bit of game playing and posturing that goes on in the domestic dating scene. Foreign women who join services such as ours are extremely interested in meeting someone for a serious relationship. Many of the games that are normally part and parcel of the American dating scene are absent in the foreign arena. That is not to say there is not a small percentage of women who may be using International Dating services for some sort of financial gain, however we have discussed that issue in depth in previous newsletters.
· Quality Choices. There are thousands of extremely attractive, well-educated women who are very serious about meeting someone for a serious relationship.

MOTIVATION of the WOMEN

· Love. Above all love and a very strong chemistry is extremely important.
· Shortage of men. Actually, in many countries, such as Russia, there are simply more women then men due to many factors including wars and high male mortality rates. In addition, many men must leave the larger cities in search of work.
· Problems finding men who are interested in serious relationships. Due to a variety of reasons, many men in Russia and other countries are not interested in serious relationships, marriage and starting families. This is very important to these women, however men who want the responsibility of marriage are difficult to find.
· Stability. Security does not mean a million dollars in the bank, and a Mercedes in the driveway. It does mean finding a responsible and secure man who will be able to help provide for a healthy family. Many of the women are very anxious to contribute to the family in any way they can, working in or outside the home, they simply want a partner who will work with them to build a happy and stable family.
· Being treated as an equal. In many countries women are not treated on the same level as men. Western men, and Western Society in general, tend to treat women equally, thus giving the woman more options in her everyday life.

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Making Your Fiancée Feel at Home

We have discussed this topic in the past; however, we still receive numerous questions regarding this subject. Bringing your fiancée home should be one of the happiest days in both of your lives. It is a very exciting time and you are anxious to show her everything you have been telling her about and to introduce her to your friends and family. We would like to offer a few tips to make the adjustment period go a little more smoothly.

* Be honest from the very beginning. One of the biggest problems we see is when the woman's expectations are much different than the reality of the situation. Try to paint a picture of what your life is like, and what you would expect her life to be like, as realistically as possible, prior to her coming over. Be painfully truthful so when she does come over her expectations are either met or surpassed. Your honesty up front will pay huge dividends for years to come.

* Try not to do too much at once when she first arrives. Life will be a bit overwhelming for both of you at the beginning. There are so many new adjustments for the two of you to make. Everything will be new to her. Take it slow and try not to pack too much in at once, remember you have the rest of your lives together.

* The Fiancée Visa is valid for 90 days. During that time the two of you must decide if you are going to move forward with the process. This can be a stressful period. As a matter of fact, if it isn't at least somewhat stressful there is probably something wrong. One of the most important things you can do during this time, especially at the beginning, is to communicate as much as possible. Talk about the process and decide together how you want to handle it. Some couples spend the three months planning an elaborate wedding. Others wait a couple months and then when they are sure it is right plan something a bit more modest. The two of you are the only ones who know what is right for you. As long as you can talk about it and agree on a plan of action then you will be able to alleviate some of the stress. Not all Fiancée Visas progress to the next stage, marriage. If you feel that something is just not right and it doesn't look like it is going to work, don't be afraid to talk about it with her, chances are she is feeling the same. Do not go through the process because you are embarrassed about it not working out, you will not be doing yourself, or her, any favors.

* Keep her busy. One of the most important factors that will determine how well she adjusts to your country and lifestyle is how active and involved she is. She is part of your life, your partner, and she needs to know that she is contributing and adding value to the relationship. Keeping her cooped up in the house watching the day-time soaps is not healthy for anyone, and certainly will not make her adjustment any easier. It is important that she is doing something such as school, work, or even volunteerism.

* Try to help her be as independent as possible.